Time

Time. I need more time. Time time time, where do you go? Out the window that's where. This is the first time in almost a week that I've had time to sit and play around online. It's terrible and I know my blog is suffering because of it.

I've been trying to get things ready for Ms. Bel's 1st birthday party, which might I add, nobody seems to be RSVP too. So what the hell am I making all this damb food for? For Isabel.

I'm getting tired of putting things out there for people. I try to open up a bit, and people can't deal because I don't think like them. I don't live in a box like them. I don't limit myself like them. So in turn I get judged, ignored, left out, called antisocial, and just put off to the side. What's really sad is sometimes you learn these things by accident. People say things that they don't think I hear because they don't know I'm sitting at the top of the stairs listening for my child.

Have the balls to speak it to my face. People have no idea who I am as a person and I no longer have any interest in trying to connect. 95% of the time this never bothers me because I don't lie to myself, I know I'm a tough pill to swallow. Every once in a while it shows up like a grain of salt and bugs me. What am I gonna do about it? Bake? No, can't put frustration into food. I'm not going to do a damb thing. I'm not going to conform to other people unrealistic ideas and needs just so they can cushion their box. What do I get out of that?

I'm done. Goodnight.