Today's Take

While out today with my girls, I stocked up on a few extra fruit items for the juicer and blender (for smoothies). We fly through banana's already and have been using them for smoothies so I bought some more, just to ensure I didn't run out. Also found some good pears, a mango, and grapefruits.

I also came to the realization that I would have to change my grocery shopping schedule to accomadate for the constant flow of very fresh fruits and veggies. That will also take some adjusting as I spent a long time perfectly timing when I run out of staple items - so I only had to endure the sometimes 4 hour shopping trip just once every 2 weeks. It will be worth it in the end but will take some getting used to. I think I have a strong love-hate relationship with grocery shopping.

Being a mom has been difficult lately. Learning to let go, but wanting to hold on, is harder than I ever thought it could be. I've let go of Mia being a baby, and then a toddler, and accepted that she's now in preschool. I see her forming friendships at school and I know what's around the corner. Sleepover's, school 5 days a week, sports, teachers, a coach or two, friends parents - and then as I was browsing Pinterest, I found that perfect saying to match how I felt. "It's been lovely but I have to scream now!" Perfect.

I have this urge to re-arrange the house, mainly just the girls stuff. I still would like to update Mia's room. I came to the harsh reality just today in fact, that I would soon not be able to change Isabel on her changing table. She's just getting too big for it. I suppose I should figure out how to utilize it into a bookshelf or something. Before I know it, she's going to be in a big girl bed. It's been lovely but I have to scream now!

I'm excited to be moving forward in this direction, but it scares me at the same time. My parents will never fully understand how much I appreciated the freedom I was given as a child. I wonder if I'll be that strong as a mother as time goes on. I only see myself as the overprotective, ready to pounce, eyeballing every strangers every move, type of mother that desperatly needs to learn how to give my girls the freedom I had, but still be myself, as well as a protective, loving parent. Is there really a middle ground? I need to find it.